Tuesday, July 14, 2009

#21 Fruit Flies

If I had to wish one thing on my mortal enemy it wouldn't be Swine Flu or watching the same episode of "I Love Lucy" for all eternity or even having to eat horse shit for a lifetime. Nope. None of the above. It would undoubtedly be having to co-habitate an office full of fruit flies.

We won't go into details about how, because that would lead to discussion of rotten bananas and office cleanliness. So we'll leave it at this, I have an office cohabitant. More like 50.

Experts say that fruit flies have a tremendously short life span. Just under a week is the typical life expectancy. They must fuck like rabbits cause we're going on a month now straight with these bastards buzzing about.

Fruit flies land on everything you don't want them to, your food, your drink, your nose. They buzz your eyeballs and crawl on your monitor. They're fast as hell, probably not capable of flying in a straight line, yet I'm damn proud to say I've killed five with my bare hands. You may not be impressed. Which is understandable. But for your sake, go ahead and check out the scale in the above photo. Yeah, these guys are small. And being able to see them is a feat alone.

I guess the most irritating fact about the fruit fly is that it's my fault they're cohabitating this office.

But a bunch of little bugs aren't gonna stop me from eating bananas.

That's what she said...