#14 Grinding

This ish is crazy. Remember when, like, back in high school and middle school and Catholic school, how grinding always got a bad rap? I know, so do we. With collaborative inspiration from our guest ideator, Crazy KC, we bring you some tips on how to make grinding less taboo:

First things first, grinding is like Fight Club - you don't talk about it. Keep in mind that many people may not be comfortable grinding with someone they do not know. If the person takes notice of you, and acknowledges you, approach them and ask if they'd like to dance. If that goes well, move in for the grind; and don't look back.

Also important to note is that the person dancing in the rear should not keep a cell phone or wallet in a front pocket – girls may get the wrong idea. Move your phone or wallet to your back pocket.

Guys may experience an erection while grinding. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, try these things:
- Bend your knees so that the bottom of your stomach is the area getting the most friction.
- Turn so that they are grinding your knee.
- If repositioning does not work, you may want to excuse yourself for a few minutes to let things settle down.
- If all else fails "pull up and tuck."

Inspiration for this WikiWha post has been pulled from the fodder found at WikiHow, a subsidiary site of Wikipedia.

Also, yes, that's our boy, Tom Cruise grinding on Katie Holmes.

#13 Garden Gnome Liberationists

Garden Gnome Liberationists (GGLs). Are you f@%$ing serious?

Apparently.

These "individuals" advocate the "freedom" of garden gnomes. Often times, GGLs will steal our beloved, friendly, bearded (see post #12 for more on facial hair) gnomes and move them to new locations.

Freedom? Bitch please. They're ceramic.

I guess we can all thank Travelocity for their creative advertising the next time one of our pointed-hat donning friends is plucked from his peaceful perch under the Bird Bath, next to the pink, plastic flamingo under the watchful eye of the Lawn Jockey, who just so happens to be admiring his bad self in the Mirrored Yard Globe.

#12 Facial Hair

So, what it be?  Five-O'clock shadow? Fumanchu?  Handlebars?  Pornstache?  Goatee?  Chops?  Flavor saver? Half-and-half?

Who cares.   All we know is that it happens.   And if it isn't managed, it can become downright unrully.

Here's a chart to figure out which facial hair-scaping might look best on you:

Our friends at Wikipedia say that males should have fully developed facial hair by their early 20s. Looks like I'm behind that curve.

#11 Euromotion

Zee sounds of zee Euromotion. It doesn't get much better. Euromotion is a Portland, OR-based, five-piece electro rock band. Skeeter, the band's lead vocalist, claims to come from the year 3012. According to the band's website: "Euromotion is the essence of dance...We play dance music and pump parties all across the space-time continuum. We want to make party at your house."

FKNA right they do! Just remember, zee dancefloor pays zee ultimate price.

Here's a look at their music video for 'Get Serious'....

#10 The Naked Mole Rat

Jesus.

The Naked Mole Rat. There it is. Anyone ever in doubt of the relevance of the statement a picture is worth a thousand words should take a look at this beast.

Fantastic Notes:

• The Naked Mole Rat is also known as a Sand Puppy.

• It is unique among mammals in that it is virtually cold blooded.

• When Naked Mole Rats are exposed to acid, they feel no pain due to the fact that they have no neurotransmitters in their outer skin.

• It slightly resembles a penis.
  

#9 Randomness

It's been a while since a Wiki-Wha post has been done. We were sitting around the table this morning, randomly, and had a collective random thought of, "how random would it be to post on Wiki-Wha today?" Pretty random, right?

According to our friends over at the mothership, "Randomness is a lack of order, purpose, cause, or predictability. A random process is a repeating process whose outcomes follow no describable deterministic pattern, but follow a probability distribution." Like roulette, where he ball can be used as a source of apparent randomness, because its behavior is very sensitive to the initial conditions. Word.

#8 Leap Day

There are some events that are so um, well, eventful that we humans can only handle the unbridled excitement of such event once every four years: The World Cup, The Olympics, The Presidential Election and you guessed it, Leap Day.

Leap Day is special. Special enough that in some countries it is tradition that, only in leap years, may women make a proposal of marriage to men. So special that the legendary Ja Rule has blessed the day with his birth. So special that we shouldn't be required to work.

So stick it to the man, close that spreadsheet, send that final email blast, shut down your Dell and fuck it dude, let's go bowling.